Introduction
Permissive Parenting means being relaxed or not being too fixed with set of rules with your children. These parents do not impose thoughts/ideas and force their ways of doings. Rather, they are emotionally supportive and provide freedom to the children for decision-making. They want children to learn best from mistakes/experiences. Permissive parenting approach means to be highly affectionate and attentive towards their children.
Diana Baumrind (American clinical and developmental psychologist) defined permissive parenting in 1960s along with authoritarian, and authoritative. She came to know about permissive parenting when she had her experience with preschool children at the University of California, Berkeley. She explained permissive parents use reasoning as their means of communication and do not rely on direct judgment.
Children under the permissive parent ship have high self-respect and have good ability to solve random problems. Furthermore, there is an element of not recognizing or giving the regard to the parents observed due to the ultimate effect of non-disciplinary/enforcing rules approach. Cultural Effect also impact on permissive parenting results. As, immigrants bring different cultures with themselves and hence, might have a different outcome for permissive parenting than US Citizens.
Signs you may be a Permissive Parent
Majority of parents are inborn affectionate, compassionate and reassuring towards the children. Sometimes, these built in qualities makes you a permissive parent. Below are some important signs:
I. Upon little request fulfilling children demands.
For Instance, upon insisting on the first or the second attempt you accept the request of the children thereby you buy them toy/s, unhealthy food, allow them use of the mobile phones/tablets/laptops, etc.
II. Inner thought saying to stop the children but still letting them be:
You might have experienced the situation when it is time for bed and the child is saying give me five more minutes (for video gaming or on mobile phone etc.) and after that I shall go to the sleep but keeps on playing for more than half an hour. This is an example of not enforcing them to do the right thing.
On the occasion of wrongful doing say not doing the school task regularly or misbehaving with the elder you may scold your child but you feel it was not necessary as I should have adapted another strategy to cope up with the situation and groom the child according to its personality.
III. Self-Accusing for Scolding the Children
On the occasion of wrongful doing say not doing the school task regularly or misbehaving with the elder you may scold your child but you feel it was not necessary as I should have adapted another strategy to cope up with the situation and groom the child according to his/her personality.
Majority of parents are inborn affectionate, compassionate and reassuring towards the children.
Reasons why parents become permissive parents
Some parents have bad childhood experiences with/without their parents, so they want to provide more by being emotional/supportive for their children. Permissive parents do not want their child/children to experience the same trauma/difficulties as they did. So, they choose to be permissive.
Sometimes they believe that they are jobholders and do not have more time to spend with the children, so they think to be encouraging and uplifting for their children. These parents are often struggling with the work-life balance, as they want to give time for themselves as well as for the child/children.
Many parents want to be a friend-like figure with the child/children, so they do not adopt authoritative behaviour with their child/children. They want their children to have such a bond with parents so that they can share or express feelings with the parents. This all happens for the sake of strong fellowship between parents and children. Also, modern trends encourage children to speak out about their feelings openly rather than under regulation.
Also, permissive parenting is a reason for the confidence creation in the children so that they could perform well even in the difficult situation, i.e., emergency situations. Confident children sometimes make parents proud in typical situations.
Parents want to be friends-like figures, create confidence and do not want to inflict their bad experiences.
Strengths and Weaknesses of Permissive Parenting
I. Strengths
Permissive parenting allows a good bond between a parent and a child. Children feel protected and well cared for. Children believe in themselves and in the parents as well. Children want to enhance their abilities by participating more and more with the parents. By showing confidence, they want to excel in academics and in daily life routine activities. These children are more involved in the act of volunteering as well.
II. Weaknesses
There are also weaknesses with the permissive parenting. In permissive parenting children have a free hand, which leads them not to take precautionary actions, i.e., deviating from the standard course of actions, which could be for formal or informal occasions. These small and non-regulatory actions could be problematic and not conscious from the side of children. Also in permissive parenting, children have not shown the characteristic of adequate admiration towards others or even to the parents. These children do not want to work more efficiently in the administration. Having not much regulation in their lives could lead ultimately to poor academic performance. However, authoritative or authoritarian parenting is different from permissive parenting, but it is not necessarily certain that authoritative or authoritarian parenting is the optimum way of parenting. They also have their side effects as well.
Strengths and Weaknesses of Permissive Parenting.
How to Provide Stable Permissive Parenting
Permissive parenting is good when definitive limits are added or looked upon as well. For instance, children should have the idea of that which might not please the parents or what is not appreciated. Furthermore, definitive limits ought to be on a daily basis activity rather than a one- or two-day activity. This thing builds a good habit in the children.
Limitations should also be on typical things, not on all the doings of life. Some things children should experience on their own level to draw a conclusion for themselves. There should be reasoning for every regulation. For the good doings of the children, they should be rewarded rather than just pouring out the concept of rules. The importance of inducing and deducing life situations at every stage of life should be highlighted to the children.
At the end, it is recommended to analyse what kind of parenting you are doing, whether you are doing permissive, authoritative or authoritarian parenting. If you are a permissive parent, then you ought to be very careful and try not to give too much relaxation for the children. In some cases Permissive Parenting have also shown to build high self-respect and analyzing ability to solve tough situation at the emergency. Permissive parenting provides joy for little duration of time and it becomes more and more difficult to regularize the child as the time passes. High level of permissive parenting leads children in not recognizing their actual duties as children. They are also not doing well in curriculum activities. They have also shown more toxic behavior. So, the bottom line is to choose between the permissive and authoritative/authoritarian.
A balanced way between permissive and authoritarian parenting is highly recommended.
